Tarrant County Family Law
Showing posts with label Collaborative Law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Collaborative Law. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Collaborative Law Divorces
Divorce is a difficult process to go through. Particularly if you have children. Divorce uses the same adversarial litigation process that all other court proceedings use, pitting one party against the other. Even as a divorce attorney, I have to wonder if this process is best for the children involved in the divorce. By its very nature, the litigation process fosters at the very least, ill will between a divorcing husband and wife. This ill will makes it more difficult for mom and dad to parent the children together moving forward.
Recently, I was trained in collaborative law. Collaborative law is a structured process whereby you and your spouse work with specially-trained attorneys to reach an agreement for your divorce, for your children, and your property. Some say it is a more civilized way to divorce. There are several benefits to the collaborative process. The major benefit if you have children is that it sets you up for a much better working relationship with your soon-to-be former spouse once you are divorced.
The collaborative process has three core principals that make it an effective way to divorce without completely decimating any sort of working relationship between the former spouses:
1. A pledge to not go to court;
2. An honest and open exchange of information by the spouses; and
3. An agreement factoring the highest priorities of both spouses and their children.
By encouraging cooperation and fostering respect, the Collaborative Law process helps parents and their children maintain their family connection while embracing new lives and learning to operate within the new family dynamic. Whether you choose the litigation route or the Collaborative Law process, divorce will be a significant event in your life and a difficult thing to go through, but Collaborative Law can guide you and your family through the process with compassion and lead you to a healthy new beginning. The Collaborative Law process may not be right for you; the litigation process may be the only method that will work for you.
There are other benefits to choosing the collaborative route. First, it allows the divorce process to be private; you will not be in and out of a courtroom, which is and must be open to the public. There is no such thing as a closed divorce proceeding in a courtroom.
Another benefit to collaborative law is that to a great extent, you get to manage the time line. When you divorce using the traditional litigation process, you are at the mercy of the availability of the court. It is very possible for the litigation process to take much longer if you were to take your divorce to final trial.
Another benefit is that often a mental health professional and financial professional are involved in the process to help you manage your emotions during the divorce process and aid in the division of your property. You don’t get this in the normal litigation procedure.
If you are interested in more information about the collaborative law process, The Decker Law Firm can answer your questions. We continue to handle divorces in the traditional manner. Providing collaborative law divorces provides us yet another way to effectively serve our clients. Every person must decide which method of divorce will work best in their particular situation. The Decker Law Firm is there to help you through the process whatever direction you choose to take.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Recently, I was trained in collaborative law. Collaborative law is a structured process whereby you and your spouse work with specially-trained attorneys to reach an agreement for your divorce, for your children, and your property. Some say it is a more civilized way to divorce. There are several benefits to the collaborative process. The major benefit if you have children is that it sets you up for a much better working relationship with your soon-to-be former spouse once you are divorced.
The collaborative process has three core principals that make it an effective way to divorce without completely decimating any sort of working relationship between the former spouses:
1. A pledge to not go to court;
2. An honest and open exchange of information by the spouses; and
3. An agreement factoring the highest priorities of both spouses and their children.
By encouraging cooperation and fostering respect, the Collaborative Law process helps parents and their children maintain their family connection while embracing new lives and learning to operate within the new family dynamic. Whether you choose the litigation route or the Collaborative Law process, divorce will be a significant event in your life and a difficult thing to go through, but Collaborative Law can guide you and your family through the process with compassion and lead you to a healthy new beginning. The Collaborative Law process may not be right for you; the litigation process may be the only method that will work for you.
There are other benefits to choosing the collaborative route. First, it allows the divorce process to be private; you will not be in and out of a courtroom, which is and must be open to the public. There is no such thing as a closed divorce proceeding in a courtroom.
Another benefit to collaborative law is that to a great extent, you get to manage the time line. When you divorce using the traditional litigation process, you are at the mercy of the availability of the court. It is very possible for the litigation process to take much longer if you were to take your divorce to final trial.
Another benefit is that often a mental health professional and financial professional are involved in the process to help you manage your emotions during the divorce process and aid in the division of your property. You don’t get this in the normal litigation procedure.
If you are interested in more information about the collaborative law process, The Decker Law Firm can answer your questions. We continue to handle divorces in the traditional manner. Providing collaborative law divorces provides us yet another way to effectively serve our clients. Every person must decide which method of divorce will work best in their particular situation. The Decker Law Firm is there to help you through the process whatever direction you choose to take.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Why Should I Hire an Attorney for My Divorce when I Have Children?
I do not recommend anyone with kids represent themselves (pro se is the legal term for being your own lawyer) in a divorce or try to use some forms you find somewhere to do your divorce on your own. Have you ever heard someone say "I don’t know what I don’t know?" This phrase rings true in the area of family law.
I realize because I am a family lawyer, my saying this may hold little weight to you as you may think I am saying this because I make money as a divorce lawyer. But before you make up your mind on this, please hear me out.
For the majority of folks, their family is the most important part of their lives. Doing your divorce on your own may strip you of rights you have with respect to your children. Maybe even rights you didn’t even know you have.
For example, which parent is going to make the educational decisions for the kids? Your initial reaction may be "We both will." But what if, at some point, you don’t agree with your ex spouse? If the language in your divorce decree says you both must agree before any action is taken with respect your children’s education, and you disagree, nothing can ever be done.
Additionally, you have no idea what your situation is going to be in ten years. And what is an educational decision? Educational decisions are not limited to simply what school your child will attend. Should she be tutored in a certain subject? Who will the tutor be? Where will she go to get the tutoring? Is a choir trip to New York City educational? If so, who should decide if your daughter goes on that trip? What happens if one of you want your son to attend SAT preparation classes and the other parent believes it unnecessary. Should you and your former spouse have the independent right to make educational decisions? If so, then your former spouse could have your child doing something you don’t agree with. Or you both could do something similar at the same time. Should you have the exclusive right to make those decisions? Should your spouse have that exclusive right? Or should one of you have the exclusive right after conferring with the other parent?
When there are children, there are a myriad of issues in a divorce an experienced family lawyer can help you with. Educational decisions are just a drop in the bucket.
Who will make medical decisions? Will you get a second medical opinion when an invasive medical procedure is needed one of your children? Who will decide if my minor child can join the armed forces? Or get married? If you don’t have primary custody of your child, can you assure you are on the school records to get information about your child’s education? How can I prevent your ex-wife from moving across the country with your kids? Can you even prevent that? Can you call your kids when they are with the other parent? Your child is special needs, can you get more child support than the statutory minimum? What is the statutory minimum child support? If your child plays a sport, do you have to take him to practices and games when you have him? You want you ex to pay half of the sports costs, can you get that? You need to get a passport for your child, how do you get your ex to sign the paperwork? Your ex-spouse is taking the children out of the country on vacation, do you have the right to know where they are going and when? Do you have to agree to see your kids every other weekend? Your spouse and you want to agree no one should pay child support; can you do that?
This list of questions is just the tip of the iceberg. You really don’t know what you don’t know.
Further, it isn’t enough to simply consult an attorney at the beginning of the divorce and then write your decree yourself or check some boxes on a form. The wording of your divorce decree is everything. The absence or existence of a single word in a decree could determine if you have a specific right or not. Once you give up a right either accidentally or intentionally, it is difficult, if not impossible, to get that right back at a later date.
Remember the effort you put into planning your wedding? Please don’t spend any less time or effort in your divorce than you put into your wedding. Your family is at stake.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
I realize because I am a family lawyer, my saying this may hold little weight to you as you may think I am saying this because I make money as a divorce lawyer. But before you make up your mind on this, please hear me out.
For the majority of folks, their family is the most important part of their lives. Doing your divorce on your own may strip you of rights you have with respect to your children. Maybe even rights you didn’t even know you have.
For example, which parent is going to make the educational decisions for the kids? Your initial reaction may be "We both will." But what if, at some point, you don’t agree with your ex spouse? If the language in your divorce decree says you both must agree before any action is taken with respect your children’s education, and you disagree, nothing can ever be done.
Additionally, you have no idea what your situation is going to be in ten years. And what is an educational decision? Educational decisions are not limited to simply what school your child will attend. Should she be tutored in a certain subject? Who will the tutor be? Where will she go to get the tutoring? Is a choir trip to New York City educational? If so, who should decide if your daughter goes on that trip? What happens if one of you want your son to attend SAT preparation classes and the other parent believes it unnecessary. Should you and your former spouse have the independent right to make educational decisions? If so, then your former spouse could have your child doing something you don’t agree with. Or you both could do something similar at the same time. Should you have the exclusive right to make those decisions? Should your spouse have that exclusive right? Or should one of you have the exclusive right after conferring with the other parent?
When there are children, there are a myriad of issues in a divorce an experienced family lawyer can help you with. Educational decisions are just a drop in the bucket.
Who will make medical decisions? Will you get a second medical opinion when an invasive medical procedure is needed one of your children? Who will decide if my minor child can join the armed forces? Or get married? If you don’t have primary custody of your child, can you assure you are on the school records to get information about your child’s education? How can I prevent your ex-wife from moving across the country with your kids? Can you even prevent that? Can you call your kids when they are with the other parent? Your child is special needs, can you get more child support than the statutory minimum? What is the statutory minimum child support? If your child plays a sport, do you have to take him to practices and games when you have him? You want you ex to pay half of the sports costs, can you get that? You need to get a passport for your child, how do you get your ex to sign the paperwork? Your ex-spouse is taking the children out of the country on vacation, do you have the right to know where they are going and when? Do you have to agree to see your kids every other weekend? Your spouse and you want to agree no one should pay child support; can you do that?
This list of questions is just the tip of the iceberg. You really don’t know what you don’t know.
Further, it isn’t enough to simply consult an attorney at the beginning of the divorce and then write your decree yourself or check some boxes on a form. The wording of your divorce decree is everything. The absence or existence of a single word in a decree could determine if you have a specific right or not. Once you give up a right either accidentally or intentionally, it is difficult, if not impossible, to get that right back at a later date.
Remember the effort you put into planning your wedding? Please don’t spend any less time or effort in your divorce than you put into your wedding. Your family is at stake.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
How Much Does It Cost to Get Divorced?
People often ask me how much it costs to get divorced. Or how much their divorce is going to cost. That is not a straight-forward, easy question to answer. Especially with no information about a person’s particular situation.
Asking an attorney how much your divorce will cost is like asking a home builder how much will it cost to build a house. Answering that question requires a great deal of information. What type of foundation? How big do you want your house? One story or two? Brick or siding? What type of roof? Granite countertops in the kitchen? The list of information needed to determine the cost of a house goes on and on.
Same goes for a divorce. What do you and your spouse agree about? Anything? Do you have kids? How many? What are their ages? Do the children have special needs? Do both you and your spouse want custody? What kind of property do you have? What type of debt do you have? Is your spouse going to hire an attorney? Who is your spouse’s attorney? What issues does your spouse want to fight about? Is it everything? Or just one or two? As with a house, the list of information needed to determine how much your divorce is going to cost goes on and on. And as your divorce goes on, the estimate can go up or down depending on what happens. For example, if your spouse agrees to everything at first, the initial cost of your divorce could be relatively low. But what if sometime during the divorce process, your spouse discovers you have a new significant other. Now he wants to fight everything. With that change, the cost of your divorce just went up.
I always feel bad that I can’t give clients or potential clients a straight and clear answer regarding the total cost of their divorce. But to quote a solid price is unfair to you. I might be able to get in the ballpark, but if something in your case changes, that ballpark goes out the window.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Asking an attorney how much your divorce will cost is like asking a home builder how much will it cost to build a house. Answering that question requires a great deal of information. What type of foundation? How big do you want your house? One story or two? Brick or siding? What type of roof? Granite countertops in the kitchen? The list of information needed to determine the cost of a house goes on and on.
Same goes for a divorce. What do you and your spouse agree about? Anything? Do you have kids? How many? What are their ages? Do the children have special needs? Do both you and your spouse want custody? What kind of property do you have? What type of debt do you have? Is your spouse going to hire an attorney? Who is your spouse’s attorney? What issues does your spouse want to fight about? Is it everything? Or just one or two? As with a house, the list of information needed to determine how much your divorce is going to cost goes on and on. And as your divorce goes on, the estimate can go up or down depending on what happens. For example, if your spouse agrees to everything at first, the initial cost of your divorce could be relatively low. But what if sometime during the divorce process, your spouse discovers you have a new significant other. Now he wants to fight everything. With that change, the cost of your divorce just went up.
I always feel bad that I can’t give clients or potential clients a straight and clear answer regarding the total cost of their divorce. But to quote a solid price is unfair to you. I might be able to get in the ballpark, but if something in your case changes, that ballpark goes out the window.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Your Case Is Important
My first year in law school I had the opportunity to learn from one of the most intelligent and difficult professors at the University of Oklahoma College of Law. This professor taught me Constitutional Law and Criminal Law. I learned a great deal in his classes, but nothing as insightful as one comment he made. He made this comment more than once and it has never left me. This one comment has driven how I practice law every day.
On more than one occasion he said “As a lawyer, you may have many cases, but each client’s case is the most important thing going on in his or her life.” I have never forgotten this.
It’s true, I have many cases. But I am a family law attorney. Each case I have deals with the most important aspect of a person’s life: his or her family. There is nothing more personal, more all-consuming, or more stressful. As I work on my clients’ cases, I try to keep in mind there is nothing more critical happening in that person’s life than their divorce, or the enforcement of child support, or their adoption.
This one tidbit my law professor shared with his class years ago has stayed with me and drives how I manage every case, how I work with every client, and how The Decker Law Firm operates. I always ask myself if it were my divorce, how would I want my lawyer to handle it. As an attorney it is important for me to recognize that this isn’t just a job it’s about my client’s future. I never take my duties lightly; it’s just too important to my clients.
On more than one occasion he said “As a lawyer, you may have many cases, but each client’s case is the most important thing going on in his or her life.” I have never forgotten this.
It’s true, I have many cases. But I am a family law attorney. Each case I have deals with the most important aspect of a person’s life: his or her family. There is nothing more personal, more all-consuming, or more stressful. As I work on my clients’ cases, I try to keep in mind there is nothing more critical happening in that person’s life than their divorce, or the enforcement of child support, or their adoption.
This one tidbit my law professor shared with his class years ago has stayed with me and drives how I manage every case, how I work with every client, and how The Decker Law Firm operates. I always ask myself if it were my divorce, how would I want my lawyer to handle it. As an attorney it is important for me to recognize that this isn’t just a job it’s about my client’s future. I never take my duties lightly; it’s just too important to my clients.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Out of the Mouths of Babes
I often tell my clients the most important people in a divorce are the children. When parents get caught up in their feelings for their spouse - the hate and the anger- they tend to forget how their actions and what they say affect their children.
I was reminded of this as I read an article on huffingtonpost.com which identified rules children would want their parents to follow after a divorce. Something as simple as one parent talking badly about the other parent can cause a child distress. The children didn’t ask for the divorce.
As much as you may hate your spouse or former spouse, that person is still your child’s other parent; a person your child loves just as much as he loves you. It is the person your child looks to just as much as he looks to you for direction, for a hero, for love.
If you have children and are going through a divorce or have already gone through a divorce, please take the time to read this article, and keep it in mind if you’re going through this very stressful event: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-bishop/if-your-kids-could-make-t_b_1171554.html.
I was reminded of this as I read an article on huffingtonpost.com which identified rules children would want their parents to follow after a divorce. Something as simple as one parent talking badly about the other parent can cause a child distress. The children didn’t ask for the divorce.
As much as you may hate your spouse or former spouse, that person is still your child’s other parent; a person your child loves just as much as he loves you. It is the person your child looks to just as much as he looks to you for direction, for a hero, for love.
If you have children and are going through a divorce or have already gone through a divorce, please take the time to read this article, and keep it in mind if you’re going through this very stressful event: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kara-bishop/if-your-kids-could-make-t_b_1171554.html.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Sunday, January 1, 2012
How to Choose a Family Law Lawyer
How do you find a lawyer that is right for you if you are going through a divorce, fighting a custody battle, or trying to get your ex-spouse to pay child support in Texas? First things first: It is important to choose a lawyer whose primary focus is family law. If you are located in a more rural area of Texas, most lawyers handle a variety of legal issues so look for someone who regularly handles family issues.
To start, ask around. Chances are you have family members or friends who have needed a lawyer for family law issues. They may have had someone who worked out really well for them or didn’t work out at all. A lawyer who focuses on family law, will know the ins and outs of the Texas Family Code and the idiosyncrasies that would easily trip up a lawyer who does not work in family law on a regular basis.
Also important is choosing a lawyer who regularly practices in your county. A lawyer who stands before the judges in your county on a regular basis will, in many cases, be able to tell you what is likely and unlikely to happen in your court in your particular situation. Further, you won’t have to be concerned about your lawyer being "hometowned." In some jurisdictions, particularly in less-populated counties in Texas, a lawyer coming from another county who does not normally practice in the jurisdiction may not be treated as welcoming as a lawyer who is in that court all the time. An out-of-town attorney may have to figure out what the local court rules are and what the normal practices may be. For example, do you stand when you question witnesses or is it customary in that court to remain seated at the table? Even on both sides of the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex you have to be aware of how often your lawyer practices in that county. In some situations, it is better to find a lawyer who regularly practices in Tarrant County. A Dallas lawyer traveling to Tarrant County who rarely, if ever, practices in Fort Worth may have struggles.
Always meet your potential lawyer in person. Although it may be annoying or pricier paying for an initial consultation with a lawyer, and then doing so with several lawyers, it is the best way to see if a lawyer is the right one for you. An initial consultation serves several purposes for someone on the hunt for a family law attorney. It is a great way to get a feel for what the law says about the important matters in your specific divorce. Look at an initial consultation as an interview of someone you want to hire. Does the lawyer have experience in the areas most significant to your situation? For example, if you have a family business and you are getting a divorce, does the attorney have experience with business valuations and negotiating the division of businesses? If Child Protective Services (CPS) is involved in your case, does the attorney have experience in CPS cases? If you are going to have a custody battle on your hands, does the lawyer have a good bit of experience in this area? If an attorney is strictly a family lawyer, chances are they have plenty of experience in all these areas; but it is good to ask the questions to make sure.
Something else important when meeting with lawyers is to determine if you think your personality will work well with the personality of the lawyer. Additionally, does the lawyer have the personality you need for your case? For example, do you want an aggressive lawyer who will need to fight for everything because the opposing party (your spouse, your ex-spouse or parent of your child) is confrontational about everything? If so, a lawyer who seems meek may not be the right fit for your situation. Conversely, if you and your spouse are getting a divorce and are relatively amicable about everything, you probably don’t want a lawyer who thrives on going into court and fighting it out for every little item. It is also good to keep in mind that some lawyers can play both roles - if the situation calls for aggression, the lawyer can take the reins and fight it out. But if you and your spouse are fairly amicable toward each other, that same lawyer can work with you to reach a resolution.
In the initial consultation, you will want to find out what the lawyer’s hourly rate is and what his or her initial retainer is. Keep in mind that a lawyer’s initial retainer is NOT necessarily what your case will cost. It is just the amount that gets you started.
The bottom line is, spending some time and money at the beginning of your case to find the right lawyer, will save you pain and suffering later on and can even save you money on the back end.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
To start, ask around. Chances are you have family members or friends who have needed a lawyer for family law issues. They may have had someone who worked out really well for them or didn’t work out at all. A lawyer who focuses on family law, will know the ins and outs of the Texas Family Code and the idiosyncrasies that would easily trip up a lawyer who does not work in family law on a regular basis.
Also important is choosing a lawyer who regularly practices in your county. A lawyer who stands before the judges in your county on a regular basis will, in many cases, be able to tell you what is likely and unlikely to happen in your court in your particular situation. Further, you won’t have to be concerned about your lawyer being "hometowned." In some jurisdictions, particularly in less-populated counties in Texas, a lawyer coming from another county who does not normally practice in the jurisdiction may not be treated as welcoming as a lawyer who is in that court all the time. An out-of-town attorney may have to figure out what the local court rules are and what the normal practices may be. For example, do you stand when you question witnesses or is it customary in that court to remain seated at the table? Even on both sides of the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex you have to be aware of how often your lawyer practices in that county. In some situations, it is better to find a lawyer who regularly practices in Tarrant County. A Dallas lawyer traveling to Tarrant County who rarely, if ever, practices in Fort Worth may have struggles.
Always meet your potential lawyer in person. Although it may be annoying or pricier paying for an initial consultation with a lawyer, and then doing so with several lawyers, it is the best way to see if a lawyer is the right one for you. An initial consultation serves several purposes for someone on the hunt for a family law attorney. It is a great way to get a feel for what the law says about the important matters in your specific divorce. Look at an initial consultation as an interview of someone you want to hire. Does the lawyer have experience in the areas most significant to your situation? For example, if you have a family business and you are getting a divorce, does the attorney have experience with business valuations and negotiating the division of businesses? If Child Protective Services (CPS) is involved in your case, does the attorney have experience in CPS cases? If you are going to have a custody battle on your hands, does the lawyer have a good bit of experience in this area? If an attorney is strictly a family lawyer, chances are they have plenty of experience in all these areas; but it is good to ask the questions to make sure.
Something else important when meeting with lawyers is to determine if you think your personality will work well with the personality of the lawyer. Additionally, does the lawyer have the personality you need for your case? For example, do you want an aggressive lawyer who will need to fight for everything because the opposing party (your spouse, your ex-spouse or parent of your child) is confrontational about everything? If so, a lawyer who seems meek may not be the right fit for your situation. Conversely, if you and your spouse are getting a divorce and are relatively amicable about everything, you probably don’t want a lawyer who thrives on going into court and fighting it out for every little item. It is also good to keep in mind that some lawyers can play both roles - if the situation calls for aggression, the lawyer can take the reins and fight it out. But if you and your spouse are fairly amicable toward each other, that same lawyer can work with you to reach a resolution.
In the initial consultation, you will want to find out what the lawyer’s hourly rate is and what his or her initial retainer is. Keep in mind that a lawyer’s initial retainer is NOT necessarily what your case will cost. It is just the amount that gets you started.
The bottom line is, spending some time and money at the beginning of your case to find the right lawyer, will save you pain and suffering later on and can even save you money on the back end.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
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