I do not recommend anyone with kids represent themselves (pro se is the legal term for being your own lawyer) in a divorce or try to use some forms you find somewhere to do your divorce on your own. Have you ever heard someone say "I don’t know what I don’t know?" This phrase rings true in the area of family law.
I realize because I am a family lawyer, my saying this may hold little weight to you as you may think I am saying this because I make money as a divorce lawyer. But before you make up your mind on this, please hear me out.
For the majority of folks, their family is the most important part of their lives. Doing your divorce on your own may strip you of rights you have with respect to your children. Maybe even rights you didn’t even know you have.
For example, which parent is going to make the educational decisions for the kids? Your initial reaction may be "We both will." But what if, at some point, you don’t agree with your ex spouse? If the language in your divorce decree says you both must agree before any action is taken with respect your children’s education, and you disagree, nothing can ever be done.
Additionally, you have no idea what your situation is going to be in ten years. And what is an educational decision? Educational decisions are not limited to simply what school your child will attend. Should she be tutored in a certain subject? Who will the tutor be? Where will she go to get the tutoring? Is a choir trip to New York City educational? If so, who should decide if your daughter goes on that trip? What happens if one of you want your son to attend SAT preparation classes and the other parent believes it unnecessary. Should you and your former spouse have the independent right to make educational decisions? If so, then your former spouse could have your child doing something you don’t agree with. Or you both could do something similar at the same time. Should you have the exclusive right to make those decisions? Should your spouse have that exclusive right? Or should one of you have the exclusive right after conferring with the other parent?
When there are children, there are a myriad of issues in a divorce an experienced family lawyer can help you with. Educational decisions are just a drop in the bucket.
Who will make medical decisions? Will you get a second medical opinion when an invasive medical procedure is needed one of your children? Who will decide if my minor child can join the armed forces? Or get married? If you don’t have primary custody of your child, can you assure you are on the school records to get information about your child’s education? How can I prevent your ex-wife from moving across the country with your kids? Can you even prevent that? Can you call your kids when they are with the other parent? Your child is special needs, can you get more child support than the statutory minimum? What is the statutory minimum child support? If your child plays a sport, do you have to take him to practices and games when you have him? You want you ex to pay half of the sports costs, can you get that? You need to get a passport for your child, how do you get your ex to sign the paperwork? Your ex-spouse is taking the children out of the country on vacation, do you have the right to know where they are going and when? Do you have to agree to see your kids every other weekend? Your spouse and you want to agree no one should pay child support; can you do that?
This list of questions is just the tip of the iceberg. You really don’t know what you don’t know.
Further, it isn’t enough to simply consult an attorney at the beginning of the divorce and then write your decree yourself or check some boxes on a form. The wording of your divorce decree is everything. The absence or existence of a single word in a decree could determine if you have a specific right or not. Once you give up a right either accidentally or intentionally, it is difficult, if not impossible, to get that right back at a later date.
Remember the effort you put into planning your wedding? Please don’t spend any less time or effort in your divorce than you put into your wedding. Your family is at stake.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Tarrant County Family Law
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
How Much Does It Cost to Get Divorced?
People often ask me how much it costs to get divorced. Or how much their divorce is going to cost. That is not a straight-forward, easy question to answer. Especially with no information about a person’s particular situation.
Asking an attorney how much your divorce will cost is like asking a home builder how much will it cost to build a house. Answering that question requires a great deal of information. What type of foundation? How big do you want your house? One story or two? Brick or siding? What type of roof? Granite countertops in the kitchen? The list of information needed to determine the cost of a house goes on and on.
Same goes for a divorce. What do you and your spouse agree about? Anything? Do you have kids? How many? What are their ages? Do the children have special needs? Do both you and your spouse want custody? What kind of property do you have? What type of debt do you have? Is your spouse going to hire an attorney? Who is your spouse’s attorney? What issues does your spouse want to fight about? Is it everything? Or just one or two? As with a house, the list of information needed to determine how much your divorce is going to cost goes on and on. And as your divorce goes on, the estimate can go up or down depending on what happens. For example, if your spouse agrees to everything at first, the initial cost of your divorce could be relatively low. But what if sometime during the divorce process, your spouse discovers you have a new significant other. Now he wants to fight everything. With that change, the cost of your divorce just went up.
I always feel bad that I can’t give clients or potential clients a straight and clear answer regarding the total cost of their divorce. But to quote a solid price is unfair to you. I might be able to get in the ballpark, but if something in your case changes, that ballpark goes out the window.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Asking an attorney how much your divorce will cost is like asking a home builder how much will it cost to build a house. Answering that question requires a great deal of information. What type of foundation? How big do you want your house? One story or two? Brick or siding? What type of roof? Granite countertops in the kitchen? The list of information needed to determine the cost of a house goes on and on.
Same goes for a divorce. What do you and your spouse agree about? Anything? Do you have kids? How many? What are their ages? Do the children have special needs? Do both you and your spouse want custody? What kind of property do you have? What type of debt do you have? Is your spouse going to hire an attorney? Who is your spouse’s attorney? What issues does your spouse want to fight about? Is it everything? Or just one or two? As with a house, the list of information needed to determine how much your divorce is going to cost goes on and on. And as your divorce goes on, the estimate can go up or down depending on what happens. For example, if your spouse agrees to everything at first, the initial cost of your divorce could be relatively low. But what if sometime during the divorce process, your spouse discovers you have a new significant other. Now he wants to fight everything. With that change, the cost of your divorce just went up.
I always feel bad that I can’t give clients or potential clients a straight and clear answer regarding the total cost of their divorce. But to quote a solid price is unfair to you. I might be able to get in the ballpark, but if something in your case changes, that ballpark goes out the window.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
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