Divorce is a difficult process to go through. Particularly if you have children. Divorce uses the same adversarial litigation process that all other court proceedings use, pitting one party against the other. Even as a divorce attorney, I have to wonder if this process is best for the children involved in the divorce. By its very nature, the litigation process fosters at the very least, ill will between a divorcing husband and wife. This ill will makes it more difficult for mom and dad to parent the children together moving forward.
Recently, I was trained in collaborative law. Collaborative law is a structured process whereby you and your spouse work with specially-trained attorneys to reach an agreement for your divorce, for your children, and your property. Some say it is a more civilized way to divorce. There are several benefits to the collaborative process. The major benefit if you have children is that it sets you up for a much better working relationship with your soon-to-be former spouse once you are divorced.
The collaborative process has three core principals that make it an effective way to divorce without completely decimating any sort of working relationship between the former spouses:
1. A pledge to not go to court;
2. An honest and open exchange of information by the spouses; and
3. An agreement factoring the highest priorities of both spouses and their children.
By encouraging cooperation and fostering respect, the Collaborative Law process helps parents and their children maintain their family connection while embracing new lives and learning to operate within the new family dynamic. Whether you choose the litigation route or the Collaborative Law process, divorce will be a significant event in your life and a difficult thing to go through, but Collaborative Law can guide you and your family through the process with compassion and lead you to a healthy new beginning. The Collaborative Law process may not be right for you; the litigation process may be the only method that will work for you.
There are other benefits to choosing the collaborative route. First, it allows the divorce process to be private; you will not be in and out of a courtroom, which is and must be open to the public. There is no such thing as a closed divorce proceeding in a courtroom.
Another benefit to collaborative law is that to a great extent, you get to manage the time line. When you divorce using the traditional litigation process, you are at the mercy of the availability of the court. It is very possible for the litigation process to take much longer if you were to take your divorce to final trial.
Another benefit is that often a mental health professional and financial professional are involved in the process to help you manage your emotions during the divorce process and aid in the division of your property. You don’t get this in the normal litigation procedure.
If you are interested in more information about the collaborative law process, The Decker Law Firm can answer your questions. We continue to handle divorces in the traditional manner. Providing collaborative law divorces provides us yet another way to effectively serve our clients. Every person must decide which method of divorce will work best in their particular situation. The Decker Law Firm is there to help you through the process whatever direction you choose to take.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
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