Not only am I a Texas family law attorney, I am also a wife and step-mother. As a result of being both a family law lawyer and step-mother, I have specific ideas and recommendations for those dating while going through a divorce and those dating after the divorce is final.
You never know when you will be caught up in a custody battle so it is important to keep that in mind as you date. It is not a particularly romantic notion, but when you have children, a certain level of practicality is necessary.
As a Texas divorce lawyer, I know the Texas Family Code requires courts to always act in the best interest of children. As a result, it is important to conduct yourself in your dating life in such a way that the court will see you are acting in the best interest of your children.
Since you never know when you will find yourself embroiled in a custody battle and because they are truly in the best interest of the children, here are some guidelines for a divorcing or divorced and dating parent:
1. Don’t introduce every single person you date to your children particularly if you tend to date multiple people at the same time or move from one person to another person rather often. This may mean for a period of time, you are only seeing the person you are dating during the times you do not have possession of your children. Make sure if you introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your kiddos, you are certain your relationship is going to last.
You never know when you will be caught up in a custody battle so it is important to keep that in mind as you date. It is not a particularly romantic notion, but when you have children, a certain level of practicality is necessary.
As a Texas divorce lawyer, I know the Texas Family Code requires courts to always act in the best interest of children. As a result, it is important to conduct yourself in your dating life in such a way that the court will see you are acting in the best interest of your children.
Since you never know when you will find yourself embroiled in a custody battle and because they are truly in the best interest of the children, here are some guidelines for a divorcing or divorced and dating parent:
1. Don’t introduce every single person you date to your children particularly if you tend to date multiple people at the same time or move from one person to another person rather often. This may mean for a period of time, you are only seeing the person you are dating during the times you do not have possession of your children. Make sure if you introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your kiddos, you are certain your relationship is going to last.
2. Don’t have your boyfriend/girlfriend spend the night in your bed when the children are with you.
3. Do not allow your boyfriend or girlfriend to discipline your child in any way.
4. It is best not to live with the person you are dating.
5. Don’t invite your boyfriend or girlfriend to every outing you have with your children; your children want time alone with you and judges want to see that when you have your children, you spend quality time with them and not with them and your significant other. And if your boyfriend/girlfriend begrudges your time with your children, you need to seriously consider if this person is really the right person for you. Your new boyfriend or girlfriend must realize that your children are your top priority and if he or she doesn’t get this, it is time for you to move on.
6. Do not dump your children at your parent’s house or other family member(s)’ homes so you can go out or spend time with your girlfriend/boyfriend.
7. Do not allow your significant other to talk badly about your ex-spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse in front of your kids.
8. Do encourage your boyfriend/girlfriend to speak kindly and respectfully about your ex when with your children. This may mean you have to curtail your badmouthing your ex to your new boyfriend/girlfriend.
9. Put your children first; that is what the Court expects you to do because it is in the best interest of your children. Remember, the best interest of your children is what the judge has to determine so make it easy for him/her
.
10. Do not make life-altering decisions for your boyfriend or girlfriend like packing up the kiddos and moving somewhere far away from their other parent or packing up and moving yourself far away from your children such that you cannot see them on a regular basis, attend extracurricular activities, or actively participate in their education by attending school events or parent-teacher conferences.
These things are often difficult but in the end it will pay off, if not in a custody battle, in the lives of your children. Your children will remember and as adults will appreciate that you put them before anyone else.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
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