Happy New Year! The Decker Law Firm wishes you a new year full of love,
happiness, and prosperity.
2013 was a wonderful year for The Decker Law Firm – We met
some incredible people, made some new friends, and were able to help many
families through some of the most difficult times in their lives. We are so very thankful to have had that
opportunity.
We hope to continue serving our clients in a new
location. The weekend before the New
Year, we moved our office. The Decker
Law Firm happily announces our new location and phone numbers:
5201 West Freeway, Ste. 102
Fort Worth, TX 76107
(817) 735-0005 Phone
(817) 735-8959 Fax
We will continue to provide our clients with honest, strong
representation – only from a different locale.
If you need to visit us and are not sure where
to find our new office, just give us a call.
We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Lawyers are expensive. When you hire a lawyer, you often pay more than you can afford. Given what you pay for that person’s expertise, it is helpful to your case to listen to your attorney and take his/her advice.
Why do lawyers cost so much? There are many reasons lawyers are so expensive. First they spend several years in law school. I know my years in law school were some of the toughest with the majority of my time spent studying. And if I wasn’t studying, I was sleeping. There wasn’t much time for anything other than going to class, researching, writing, reading, and studying. Everything else in your life is on hold to become a lawyer.
When a lawyer gives you a piece of advice, it is backed by knowledge of the law, years of experience, knowledge of the courts, and how the courts handle situations similar to yours. Two of the hardest things to learn when studying the law is that there is nothing black and white and the law isn’t always fair or logical.
Another reason lawyers aren’t cheap is that the law is ever-changing. In Texas, the Legislature meets every two years. And with that comes new laws and revisions of existing laws. Further, every law is subject to interpretation by the courts. As a result, appeals courts and the Supreme Court of the State of Texas spend their time hearing cases that have been appealed and interpreting the law based on the facts of each case. Because every case is different, the application of a statute in one case will produce one result while applying that same law in another case will produce yet a different result. It is the responsibility of your lawyer to recognize the subtle difference(s) from one case to another to determine what he or she believes will happen in your case or how the law should be applied in your situation. Law school teaches you to “think like a lawyer” and it is that thought process that guides your lawyer in counseling you about your case.
When a lawyer practices law in front of the same judges every day, he/she learns how those judges react and rule in certain situations. Although a lawyer can never predict what will happen in your case with absolute certainty, that lawyer can get pretty close in some instances based on experience in your court.
Using her knowledge of the law, knowledge of the courts, and experience, a lawyer will give you advise that will best help your case and structure your case to give you the best possible outcome. That advice is rooted in a great deal of knowledge.
Because you spend so much on your lawyer, it is crucial you trust that person. Your lawyer may very well give you advice you either do not agree with or do not understand. If you do not understand what your attorney asks of you then by all means ask for her reasoning behind it. I am certain there is a specific reason for that advice that will be of benefit to your case. If you choose not to follow your lawyer’s advice, you have to expect legal consequences that will harm your situation.
If for whatever reason you do not trust your attorney, find one you do trust.
There are a multitude of factors that lead to an attorneys advice: statutes, case law, the court’s tendency given the facts of your case, and/or mitigation of facts that may harm your case. Every single situation or case is different. Your situation may seem identical to your friend’s situation and in your friend’s situation she did not have to do what your lawyer is asking you to do. But you may be in a different court or there may be some difference in your situations that may seem subtle or meaningless to you but has great significance. Your lawyer is going to spot that.
I recommend making sure you understand exactly what your attorney is asking of you so you understand the meaning or reasoning behind it. If after hearing your attorney’s purpose of his/her request, you do not trust your lawyer, then find a lawyer you do trust. A good lawyer is not going to tell you everything you want to hear. A good lawyer is going to tell you everything you need to hear.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Family law attorneys handle all kinds of legal matters that are not known for their pleasantness - divorce, custody, child support, etc. Although helping people with their family issues is rewarding, one of the most rewarding things we help people with is adoption.
An adoption is the beginning of a new life not only for the child but for the parents and the entire family. And what a wonderful thing to be a part of and to help make happen!
Adoption is a two-step process. First you must terminate the rights of the biological parents, followed by the actual adoption; step two.
Occasionally a mother will call me wanting her husband to adopt her child but she doesn’t really want to notify the biological father. Unfortunately, that can’t happen. The biological father must be told of the adoption. Sometimes the father will agree to have his rights terminated so the stepfather can adopt. When that happens, it makes the adoption much easier in that the biological father will sign an affidavit of relinquishment of parental rights. When the biological parent or parents will not agree to relinquish his or her parental rights, you have to have a full trial where you must prove that it is in the best interest of the child to terminate the biological parents’ parental rights and prove any one of the statutory reasons for terminating parental rights.
Once the parental rights of the biological parents are terminated, the adoption is pretty much a formality.
I also have people ask me if they can do their adoption on their own without a lawyer. I do not recommend someone attempt to do so. Termination and adoption is a very technical paper-driven process and if you have not done everything exactly right and filed the correct paperwork with the Court, you will not be successful in your adoption.
If all the paperwork and pleadings are not in order, you might show up to the final trial only to be turned away because something is missing or incorrect. Further, if you complete your termination and adoption and one thing is wrong, someone can call in question a part of the process or procedure which means the adoption could be reversed. Something like that could be devastating to the child, the parents, and the family.
In Tarrant County, Texas, the judges like the termination trial and adoption to happen on the same day whenever possible. In Child Protective Services cases that can’t always happen but in private cases, the judges want the termination and adoption to happen all at once so that a child is not left fatherless, motherless, or parentless for any period of time.
When all the paperwork is in order, in Tarrant County, the judges do a great job of making adoption day something special not only for the adopted children and the parents, but for the entire family and their friends. The judges include everyone in the hearing; some will even swear in the children at the same time as everyone else just so they feel a part of the process. The judges do things at an adoption they don’t allow any other time. The entire group of people, family and friends are allowed to approach the bench for the actual (and very brief) adoption hearing. Taking pictures is not only allowed but encouraged. The judge even allows the immediate family to take the steps up to the bench where the judge sits for a photo opportunity with the judge. With all the ugly things judges see in family law courts, they love adoptions too.
Adoption can be a rewarding event for everyone involved. If you are looking for an adoption of any kind, I highly recommend meeting with an attorney and eventually hiring one to make sure everything is done correctly. As rewarding as an adoption can be, if it is not done properly, it can be a nightmare for the children and parents.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
Sometimes divorces take a while and when you have children and/or significant debt or property like a house, it needs to be determined what is going to happen with everything during the pendency of the divorce.
That’s when temporary orders come into play. Temporary orders identify what custody, visitation and child support will be while the parties are working out the details of the divorce. Temporary orders will also identify who lives in the house during the divorce and who is going to pay which bills. If one spouse hasn’t worked in a while or makes significantly less than the other spouse, temporary spousal support may be in order.
So how does this happen? When a spouse files for divorce and he or she knows there will need to be temporary orders, the lawyer will set a hearing for temporary orders. If you can agree to what is going to happen with everything temporarily, then there may be no need to go to court for a hearing. However, if you cannot agree, you will go to court, a judge will hear the facts, and decide for you.
Sometimes if the temporary orders are close to what you want things to look like in the final divorce, you may be able to iron out all the other issues and incorporate the terms of the temporary orders into the final decree of divorce. Once the final decree of divorce is entered (signed by the judge), the temporary orders go away and the final decree is then in effect.
If you know you will need temporary orders, it is a good idea to go to court for the Temporary Orders Hearing represented by a lawyer; particularly if your spouse has a lawyer. It may be your inclination to blow off a temporary orders hearing thinking it is not a big deal because it is only temporary. Temporary orders hearings are important because there are certain temporary orders that are very difficult to reverse. For example, if your spouse is awarded use of the house while the divorce is pending and you want to kick him or her out because you want to live in the house during the divorce instead, you will have a problem. So long as your spouse is meeting all the financial obligations with respect to the house, it is nearly impossible to move back in that house. Another reason to pay attention to Temporary Orders Hearings is because those orders last the life of your divorce proceedings and if you have a contentious divorce those temporary orders could be in effect for months if not years.
You should always be vigilant throughout the divorce process to assure your rights are protected and temporary orders hearings are no different.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
You have probably heard of attorney-client privilege or the confidentiality between lawyers and their clients. What is this? Confidentiality between a client and his lawyer is sacred. It means that what is said between a client and his or her attorney regarding the case remains private. One reason for this is to allow a client to feel comfortable telling his attorney everything about his case. No misrepresentations of the truth. The reason it is critical for a client to be honest and straightforward with his attorney is so the attorney can present the best possible case for the client and diffuse any negatives, if possible.
This means, never lie to your attorney about anything. Not only is there no benefit, it is a detriment to you as the client to lie to your lawyer. As in any legal matter, with a family law case - be it divorce, custody, child support, or whatever - the opposing party may very well have evidence or testimony to prove you are lying. And if your lawyer finds out about the lie at the time it is proven to be a lie in a hearing or final trial, there is nothing she can do to help you.
It is absolutely critical to tell your lawyer the truth about everything, no matter how bad it is or how badly you think it makes you look. At least if you tell her the truth, she will have an opportunity to mitigate the damage.
Another reason to tell your lawyer the truth is that if he or she finds out you have lied, he will not and can never trust what you tell him again. Your communication with your attorney is shot. He cannot trust you anymore. And if he cannot trust you to tell the truth, your attorney may very well withdraw.
Lastly, if your attorney cannot trust you to tell the truth and believes you will lie on the stand, he cannot put you on the stand and risk your perjuring yourself. If your lawyer puts you on the stand, knowing you will lie, then you lie, and it is found out, your lawyer could very well lose his law license. And an attorney will not risk his livelihood by allowing you to testify.
Just remember, it is infinitely better for your attorney to know all the bad stuff about your case so he is not surprised with it when you are in front of the judge on a witness stand. Without your permission, he cannot tell anyone about your bad stuff. But at least if you tell him, he can mitigate the damage.
Your case is a partnership between you and your lawyer. You know all the facts and the lawyer knows the law, the courts, and how to apply the law to your facts. If you fail to tell your attorney the truth, the lawyer’s course of action and strategy could be totally wrong for your case. Don’t worry about your attorney judging you; that is not his job. Chances are he or she has heard it before or some version of it. Attorney-client confidentially is there to protect and help you! Please take advantage of its benefits.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
One of the recurring issues I see in my practice is problems between mothers and stepmothers; particularly if Dad has primary custody of the children. I was one of those stepmothers whose step-child primarily lived with his father. And me, of course.
I didn’t really have many problems with mom. But then again, I was very careful not to step on her toes. As a stepmother, it is important to remember you are not mom; no matter how many motherly things you do for your stepchild. Or how much better a mother you may think you are to your stepchild.
Stepmoms, whatever you do, don’t make the kids call you some form of mom. They should be allowed to call you whatever comes naturally, provided it is not derogatory. If that is some form of mom, that’s fine. But if it is something other than "mom," take no offense to that. You are not mom. Have enough respect for the person who gave birth to your step child to allow her that title without your interference. You are step mom no matter what you feel or want. It is just a name or a title. What the kids call you is not reflective of your relationship with the child. The kids are just lucky to have another person to care and love them.
On the other hand, moms, try not to get offended or hurt if your child wants to call step mom, "mom" or some form of it. Kids understand that role and when they are with dad, there is a woman there who fills that role. Your children mean no hurt to you. They are just kids - they don’t have the capacity to understand why that might hurt you.
Step moms: It is important, whenever possible, that your husband handle the discipline and the communication with Mom. But moms, you have to keep in mind that from time to time, as much as you may not like step mom, you will have to communicate with her so it is good to have a working relationship with her. You don’t have to like her, but you will have to communicate with her in such a way that will not cause your children grief or stress. For example, there may be times you are both at a doctor’s appointment or at a school event.
Neither Mom or step mom should talk badly to the kids or around the kids about the other mother (yes moms, the step mom is a mother). If your child likes step mom, you don’t want him to feel like he is doing something wrong. Try not to feel threatened by step mom.
Speaking as a step mom, it is not an easy role. I think it is more difficult than being a mom. As a step mom, you walk a fine line every day. No matter what happens, it is your fault; not dads and sometimes that is a difficult thing to live with.
From time to time, I have seen step moms driving the family bus; pushing litigation in modifications. Step moms - you are not in charge! Not of your stepkids or their mom. Step moms must take a back seat in the decision-making process with respect to the kids, even if the kids live primarily with you. Major decisions regarding your step kids are made by dad and mom; not you. You have to step back and take a back seat to mom. If you don’t, all you will do is cause everyone grief - your husband and the kids.
The important thing to keep in mind is respect. Whether you are Mom or step mom. Respect the other mother and her role in the kids’ lives. You can’t change that role and if you try to, the kids will pick up on it and resent you for putting them in the middle. They will never forget it and may never overcome it.
Ami J. Decker
www.famlawtex.com
